True to form, being a bit behind are like minded bloggers from across the pond, I’ll not play-by-play the event, but try and give my thoughts on it. So let’s get started.

I like how Jericho can turn a crowd in an instant. He did it the first night he was back, and did it again a few weeks ago with some simple old catch phrases.
Facing Ziggler seemed a little odd to me. I was hoping Dolph would be medling in the championship picture – but hopefully WWE have better plans for that. This was a great opening match. In fact, it was just a great match. But who expected anything less? The result didn’t really matter on the night, but I guess this was Y2J’s departing victory on this particular run as it’s been long rumoured that he’ll be off shortly after Summerslam. If this is the case, it clears the Ziggler/Jericho feud for Dolph to hopefully have a title run.

The tag titles were on the line, which I was a bit surprised by. I thought they just had some belts! What’s more surprising is that the crowd – which sounded like a great crowd – were really behind the match. Although AW royally got on my tits, I do feel the PTPs lacked a bit of something in their corner. But they’re a good tag team in my opinion and I’m sure they’ll pick up the belts soon enough. 10/10 to the crowd for the Kobe chant, just because you could hear Michael Cole and King having to talk faster and loud to try and drown it out.

Kane/Bryan. Ok, so maybe there was one match I didn’t really see the point of. Glad Bryan won. Can’t really remember the rest if I’m honest. Oh, there was the post match attack on Josh Matthews – think we saw that with Lesnar a couple of months back. I think it’s a bit of a shame the Bryan gets over with the crowd, gets into the title picture and has some of the best matches seen recently in WWE with CM Punk and then gets bumped to the mid-card.

The IC match, Miz vs Mysterio, was another slight lull for me. I’ve never been a Mysterio fan. Not since he won the HEAVYWEIGHT title anyway. I’m not sure what they’ll do with the belt next though. I don’t see a lengthy Rey/Miz battle, not sure what it would bring to the table. But on the same note, not sure who else can challenge.

For once, I was fairly gripped by a World Title match. Maybe it was because it was higher up the bill, maybe they actually built a match well for it, but regardless, I found it pretty good. I didn’t care who won as I’m not a big fan of either Del Rio or Sheamus but I liked the finish. I also like the epic ‘boo’ from the crowd. I’m sure the WWE won’t play on it too much, but heel Sheamus I think would be far more believable than his curent offering.

I don’t like Triple Threat matches for championships. Bar one at the Royal Rumble in 2000(?) for the IC Belt. This wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t brilliant either. And unsurprisingly wasn’t the main event either, but more on that in due course. With the dominance of Big Show early on, you knew at least one result wouldn’t happen, a Show victory. And then, a double finish. There must surely be something, somewhere in some kind of rule book that governs someone tapping to two moves. Logic suggests the first hold would be victourious. Apparently not. After some lengthy grubbling, presumably to allow Show to catch his breath, we get the match restarted – it didn’t last long, but I like the finish (story of my life right there!). Cena then stood still for quite some thing while being touched up by the crowd. Bit odd. Storyline wise, I think this will run for a bit. I’m not quite sure why they’re trying to turn Punk a bit, but it was evident last night that it’s not really working. I imagine, and to an extent hope, that Punk will retain for a while longer. It seems a bit odd to set up the Rock at the Rumble (something that’s possible been thought of since the first “pipe bomb”) then have it as a match we’ve seen before. But then, this is WWE. Fingers crossed we have a new title belt by then too. While it’s the spinner, it’ll always be a bit too Cena.

Now the “main” event. Was there a stipulation in this that the loser had to go on a diet? Both guys looked shadows of their former selves here. After a card of fairly fast paced matches we’re treated to a slow borefest. It reminded me of Brock/Goldberg. The crowd didn’t like it either as the boring chants rang around the areana.
The build up to this, made great by Heyman was just that. Great Heyman promotion. Bringing Shawn Michaels and Steph into things didn’t make me, personally, give two shits about it. Actually, I didn’t even give one shit. Sure there were good parts to the match, but I think it was a reminder of how WWE used to be when dominated by big pigs. I was surprised by the lack of Shawn, after Simms theory on it, I was a little excited. Sometimes I do wish he wrote the scripts!

The most interesting thing about this was HHH’s exit. It reminded me a lot of the exit of Mick Foley a decade ago in his retirement match. I was almost moved. But then, if history repeats, Trip will be back in action within a couple of months. We’ll see I suppose.

Bottom line here for me is this.  On it’s own a Lesnar or Trip wins means nothing. Who cares right? What have either of them actually got to prove? It’s a strange dichotomy here in that the younger audience barely know who either of them are, and the older (more learned) audience might get a small pang of nostalgia watching them but ultimately know the TV time would be better spent putting over some fresh young talent. But as usual I digress…  However add a little twist (no matter how tried and tested) and it at least makes a story out of a dead-end situation. An obvious story well executed is a good story nonetheless.

Brock ‘broke’ HBK’s arm this week. Did he? Really? Really? Let’s look at the the evidence thus far over the past two weeks and analyse what we ACTUALLY know;
- Last week Brock had the chance to jump HBK in the ring. He didn’t.
- This week HBK is on the phone to someone but it’s never confirmed that it’s Trip.
- On the phone he makes a joke about the BIG man flying coach. Remember when Brock was told he’d have to fly coach instead of his private jet demands?
- HBK ‘bumps into’ Lesnar backstage this week at first and nothing happens.
- We never actually saw HBK’s ‘beating’ at the car in the parking lot this week.
- HBK ‘takes’ an F5 – so what. Did we see any punches thrown? All for show?
- Heyman massively overhammed the ‘broke his arm’ call as did HBK with the ‘stay away from me’/'don’t touch it’ tomfoolery – i.e they were faking it together. We certainly didn’t get the nice slow-motion replay of the ‘arm-breaking’ as we did when Brock hurt Trip did we?
Is it me or is it just too easy to see where this is going?

So, I’m sticking with a Lesnar win with ‘help’ from Michaels after Brock has already beat the hell out of Trip. It achieves more. A classic ‘take off the cast and use a weapon’ would great to see for nostalia too for me.  Lesnar stays strong, Trip saves face, HBK and Trip hold some relevance to a future story/angle, Brock can still go on to be a monster against whomever…

Why goad in Trip with this? Simple. I already outlined last week why HBK should resent Trip. But now with this, Trip is no longer at his best for the fight because he feels guilty for Brock breaking Shawns arm. Therefore his mind won’t be on the fight in hand like it should. Mix this all up and we’ve got ourselves a pretty good angle folks as to why Shawn, Brock and Heyman are together.

WWE’s backup? Shawn can now be simply so pissed at Trip for letting it happen, that he screws him anyway. I’d love the more complex angle but fear they may opt for this as a simpler version of doing it alas. Either way, it should happen. And I’m still calling it. Anything involving a clean win here or something else doesn’t quite add up to me.

The great thing? I’m not complaining! This one has legs and options if WWE chose to use them. Looking forward to Sunday to seeing it unfold either way.

Simm Minogue.

Secondly I wanna credit by Miami buddy John Canton at TJR (www.facebook.com/tjrwrestling) for inspiring this little scribbling. He’s had some proper gayness from other ‘writers’ of late so even though I’m not directly plagiarising him here, credit goes to the big guy for making an issue of (and making me think more about) the Lesnar line on Raw this week to HBK of, “”And you, yeah you, I’ll see you before then.”

Now, we’re all expecting this to be some of sort of pre-cursor to Lesnar having a run-in with Michaels pre-Summerslam. Yes it keeps some tension going to the story for the remaining couple of weeks sure, but what if nothing happens…that we see at least. Let’s be honest, it makes no sense for Brock to hurt Michaels (at least not until SummerSlam or afterwards) – if he does it shows that he thinks HBK is a threat, and besides the match with he and Trip is on whatever. It’s not as if he needs to rile Trip in any way to force the issue. At the same time, bear in mind that Brock had ample opportunity to strike HBK this week and didn’t. Not the actions of someone who came back to fight for sure.

So, what if Lesnar seeing Michaels is about how they are going to ensure TOGETHER that Trip doesn’t get to walk out (or even carried out) of this one. Ok, so we’ve seen screw jobs between HBK and Trip a million times before but bear with me as I cast your minds back to a little show held a few months back called WrestleMania.

It was the night before the big return of Brock (I was there in Miami and it was a HUGE return even in the light that 95% of the crowd knew he was gonna be there), and we were given a truly great spectacle of a match between Trip and Taker, with HBK as guest referee…and just for good measure Hell in a Cell. The match was billed as the end of an era. Therein lies the issue.  There was no specific loser retires stipulation, but the implication was clearly there in the build up – with Michaels retired, the winner of the match would be the last of their generation still going. Jump forward a few months and what has ended? Trip is effectively still an ‘active’ wrestler, as is Taker, even if we are both only getting them in small cameo doses. The bottom line? Trip lost at Mania, and yet is still booking himself in matches. This needs to be Michaels’ ammunition – as the guy who lost and held his word having a problem with the guy (his best friend no less) who lost and still refuses to admit he’s done.

So HBK costs (a still fighting but badly beaten) Trip the match. A simple Superkick into an F-5 would suffice, or even be the one to count his shoulders to the mat following a ref bump, or better still to actually stop the match (à la throw in the towel perhaps like Owen did for Bret?). Meanwhile Brock trundles on to another big pay day in another ultimately meaningless match for him a couple of months down the line. Hey, he’s only here for a while to sell PPVs, we DO have to just ignore some things…

The stage is set – Michaels is pissed that Trip just won’t quit, while Trip is pissed that Michaels continues to be the one to ‘cost’ him ‘big’ matches. Trip would then challenge Michaels to a final showdown between the two at WM29. Stating win, lose, or draw, this would be his official retirement match, but that he needs to know (much as HBK did against Taker) whether he still had it to be in the ring with the best. Personally I wouldn’t want to see Michaels come out of retirement for ‘one night only’, although I could see it happening and would assume that Trip would love his true final match to be against the greatest of all time.

But Michaels could truly stick to his guns and take the higher ground stating that he said was retired and he meant it…but if Trip really wants to prove he’s still got it, there’s no use wasting his minerals on old timers like him or Taker, why doesn’t he prove it against someone who can still ‘go’ at the pace they used to know, someone who maybe was even trained by the greatest of all time, someone like…Daniel Bryan. After the Bryan debacles of the last two Manias, what better rub and a passing of the torch could there truly be? Bryan’s work over the past year both in ring and out has proven that he IS the real deal we all knew him to be and no-one deserves it more than him. What’s more as a ‘clean’ guy, he’s a safe bet for WWE for decades to come. It would also be great PR on a personal level for Trip (not that I’m sure he cares) to show he can truly do the right thing ‘for business’.

If as some rumours go we expect Taker to hold on until WM30 to bow out (at 22-0), we could then have a long build for Taker v Bryan at WM30, where Bryan is the heel bragging that he did what Taker couldn’t do…make Triple H retire. The guest ref? You’ve guessed it. Triple H. The circle is complete with a story that mirrors the run up to WM28.

Granted, this would mean some sort of logic and storyline continuity at foot in WWE programming which we all know is a reach at the best of times, but surely a build towards a true retirement match at Mania next year would be better than just a boring blow off match at Summerslam that ultimately does nothing for either Brock nor Trip?  Hey as always, it’s just my opinion…but you’re all entitled to it.  I know I’d love to see it.

“Enjoy the ride”.

Simm ‘The Min’ Minogue.

Food for thought from the opening bell…
Raw started with a tribute video for Memorial Day in the US to the US troops. It’s nice that they do this of course to honour those who have sacrificed their lives. A loss that is not only heartbreaking but pointless. Really interesting that this tribute was followed by a promo focussing on Cena moaning about power hungry people being bullies, and causing pain and heartache on others for no reason other than greed. I’ll let you make your own conclusions on the irony here folks.

Big Show addresses the nation…
The promo vid also of course served to bring us up to speed on the storyline situation with The Big Show. I love that as part of this heel turn he just went back to being known as Paul White (remember when he burst on the scene in WWF to challenge Austin he was announced by his real name?) – that would be a great tick in the box
for ‘legitimacy’ that would really support his ‘no more gimmicks’, “I’m not an entertainer” persona. They won’t of course…they’ve just printed the words ‘BIG SHOW’ on a new set of t-shirts after all.  Evidently there’s no-one else in his league…I’m assuming this is little league he’s talking about because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the entire roster beat him at some point. Difficult stance this for WWE – they have to denounce all Show’s gimmicks for the sake of business without admitting it’s all a work. I think they and Show have have a good job here. I thought the promo was good – classic heel stuff. Big guys should be heels. I don’t wanna feel sorry for them. Of course the flip is that they are highlighting a feud we’ve seen too many times before, and within this is yet another effort to keep Cena ‘important’. Unless your hymen is still intact, or are the type of person who claps at bright colours and eats paint, Cena isn’t important. That’s the truth right there Little Jimmy.

Santino acts like a bellend backstage…gets his comeuppance
Are these US belt exercises Santino is doing as a warm-up supposed to be entertaining? Or is it just WWE’s general intention to make all it’s titles look like a piece of shit? Maybe he’ll put up a great fight against Del Rio and really solidify his status as a fighting champion here…oh wait…no. Del Rio’s looking in decent shape at the moment, and clearly he has a title shot coming up soon, but why use another champ to make him look strong. It’s stupid. Either unify the belt with the IC or put the strap on someone with some in-ring credibility asap. And no I don’t mean David Otunga. I still love the cross-arm breaker as a finisher – I like ‘legit’ moves being used to put people away. Here’s a thought, why not just give someone like Del Rio be the US champ for a while. He’s could use it for great heel heat as a non-yank with the title. I’d buy that more than him beating one of the top guns at this point.

Big Show goes backstage to send messages…
Nice to see that Alex Riley is still alive. And to see him get smashed against a wall by Big Show too. Not so nice to see him constantly looking down to remember/read his lines though. That’s poor.

Tag-team titles are on the line…
Well of course they are, the belts mean nothing and this match hasn’t been promoted in any way. This really does annoy me. Also when are they going to change these awful looking belts? It’s been far too long now. I coughed up something this morning that looks more valuable. I’m not against impromptu title matches on free TV every now and again, but how are we supposed to think titles are special when matches are not saved for PPV or at least promoted in advance. Somehow ZigSwag are getting another shot here, apparently arranged by Vicki. It’s a rematch apparently – don’t you have to be the losing champs to get a rematch? Anyway all is explained soon as this is basically used to be the catalyst for a ZigSwag break-up. This should have happened at OTL. 2 good things coming out of this though. Truth/Kofi starting to look more together and appear as a team, and that Ziggler is gonna go on his own soon it seems. Thank the maker! Note on Truth, I’ve been pretty impressed with him since he came back from his Wellness, and equally I thinking Swagger has been improving of late too. I’m not a massive fan of either but like to give credit where it’s due. Again, both could bolster up the US title division if needed. I like seeing younger stars coming through the tag ranks and then breaking out to go for the secondary titles.

Brodus challenges Big Show
“Heard you got beef?”. Really? People actually say that? Embarrassing.

We’re getting Punk v Bryan again!
Wrestling wise this is great of course, but doesn’t make sense. Yes, I guess officially Bryan needs to earn another title shot, but surely the ‘controversy’ surrounding the finsih at OTL is enough for a stand-up champion like Punk to just come out and say, “Hey, let’s do it again with no excuses” etc. Yet again this is a high calibre match which goes ahead unpromoted. The most bizarre aspect of this for me is that it’s in a company that is so ratings focussed of course.  We then got some sort of stat about the BA Star thing again. No, I don’t care either.

Big Johnny addresses the WWE Universe…and Punk interupts
JL announced that the ‘main event’ of No Way Out would be in a steel cage. This doesn’t annoy me. What does annoy me is that Show v Cena is being announced as the main event. Why? It’s a grudge match at best. No titles are at stake. The result has no consequence (regardless of which extra stipulation may be added). Another slap in the face to the talent on the roster and the history and tradition of the company. Other than that this was basically just a segment to promote the new WWE13 game. I’m not a fan of stories with GM’s etc, I’m not a fan of JL particularly either (although I think he’s grown in his role of late), but I do love the motor-cart thing (thanks to John Canton for sharing my banter on this week last week by the way). Wouldn’t it be great if Taker was still the American Jackass on his bike, only to be address by JL on his scooter….dressed in bikers leathers. Just a thought.  A few ‘college’ humour jokes here, although I’m sure Orton was on the cover of the WWE12 game? Is he not considered a wrestler then? Nice to hear someone finally addressing Otunga as Carlton though.

Punk v Bryan
It’s non-title so some sort of schmoz finish or a Bryan win was expected. They reminded us again of Kane’s part in the current story so again assumed he would be a factor here somehow. I was right on both counts. I think they got over 12 mins which was great. More great WRESTLING and a fundamentally different match to OTL which just shows the class of these guys. Hey, we expect quality from these two  – it’s just great to watch. This is the difference. I don’t care who win’s or loses here, or even to some extent how much silliness has to be thrown in now and again…because they two will make it work.  I love both of these guys pre-WWE work as you know, but this for me is where wrestling gets really great – when you get talent like this PLUS the production values a company like WWE can offer. Sure they can;t do all the stuff they’d get away with in ROH for instance…but hey, that’s always in the bank should they ever need to be ‘allowed’ or more ‘required’ to go the extra mile. They’ve killed themselves to get the big stage…no sense in killing them themselves now they’re here. Interesting finish with the AJ distraction to allow the exposed buckle which effectively is still a pretty clean win.  AJ was looking SUPER HOT here. I mean stupidly bloody gorgeous. Look at those doe eyes. Imagine them looking at at you from waist height boys eh. I love crazy chicks too! I still foresee a Bryan and her getting back together after she costs Punk the title somehow, and that’s fine, whether it’s at OTL or later on. If Kane ends up being involved at No Way Out (possible) that hopefully means there’s still plenty of mileage in going back to just these two. I’d like a big pay off at SummerSlam for them – 60 minute Iron Man anyone? They really could be this generations Bret and Shawn.

Christian v Miz
Major point of note here was Cody on commentary. He really is becoming a great and confident talker. That’s half the battle. He still needs something extra in the ring but a good feud will give him this of course. Christian could be that guy and I alluded to last week. Whatever, there’s a real flip here to how the US belt is being treated at the moment – I’m starting to believe again that the IC title means something and I like that. Christian won with the frog splash again. I think Christian may have changed his finisher more than any superstar in WWE history. Miz stayed in the ring and mouthed off. He reeled off a number of “Where’s my…”s. I was hoping he was going to ask where his WWE ice-cream bars were. He didn’t. Shame. Orton came in to RKO him – this didn’t seem to have any significance other than using it to position Ziggler (backstage) as either Orton’s next feud (in place of the now suspended Jericho). That’s great of course. They had a decent little feud for the WWE title before and put on good matches.

Big Johnny backstage
Largely ridiculous segment, only funny because someone in the studio sniggered too loudly when JL said he might retire in 10-20 years.  Also, don’t be surprised if ‘Ice Coffee’ becomes Teddy Long’s new moniker….teaming up with Sexual Chocolate. Teddy’s role is stupid although it does show you how easy it is to draw a wage from Vince I guess. Hope for all us marks still.

John Cena talks about Memorial Day
He says it’s the nations most sacred day of the year. He will of course go on to say this about Independence Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas before the year is up also. Evidently America is a beacon for liberty and justice the world over. Really? Let’s ask every other country in the world about that shall we? Never wavering? Ever vigilant? Let’s ask the the allied troops that US troops have shot at/down shall we? Cena claims to stand for integrity and honour – I’d be all for that if he wasn’t such a poster boy for having a millionaire’s hand up his arse. Cena is a puppet. A rich puppet granted. But a puppet nonetheless. And it’s true what John Smallman says too. He does have a face like ham. Get him off my screen. Anyway, political rant over.

Sheamus v David Otunga
When commentators have to keep going back to Otunga’s physique, you know he’s got no skills in the ring. He lost of course. Otunga sold the brogue kick well granted, but generally he’s so bad that I guess it makes him in line for the US title as most idiots on twitter would seem to want at the moment.

Show v Brodus Clay
We get a reminder of the Big Show ‘sell-out’ story again…in case you missed it the first 67 times it’s been shown over the past 2 weeks. I like that Show outed Clay’s dancing and how he’s sold-out. The underlying message is true here in more ways than one. Brodus might be fun for the kids but having a novelty act squash decent mid-card talent is bad for business. And yes, Doink WAS more talented.  Good to see Show dominant here, just a shame he’s doing it as a means for Cena to probably get a PPV win. Back to the subject of how titles are treated too…was there really nobody else other the tag champs available for him to squash? Great bump work for Kofi/Truth though and guess this makes ripe for the pickings for a young team to come and nab the belts now perhaps?

All in all pretty average this week, but I’m having for it to be average on the weekly shows with the occasional quality injection. WWE needs to train it’s audience that stories are being built and you need to stayed tuned every week to keep up with each one…and if you pay for PPV we’ll thank you in quality there – it’s not rocket science. The signs are there that some things are starting to change again though. I’m willing to ride this through until Summerslam – we know it’s always a bit ‘weird’ this time of year. Hey, at least we’ve got Punk and Bryan whatever happens. I’ll ignore the crap for 15 mins of them every week.  Next week AJ versus Eve in a naked crazy chick KY Jelly match!*

Simm Minogue
*card subject to change

I can’t remember a match when I had such a grin fixed on my face throughout it’s entirety. I was already smiling of course, having been a long time fan of both and like so many recognising what a landmark occasion this match already was. Am I a biased mark for these guys? Sure. But even the most casual fan must have been mesmerised by this showing from two such premiere talent.

An additional note to say how good it was that they kept AJ out of this one, having teased an appearance earlier in the show. That keeps the angle bubbling on this nicely i.e how and where she will eventually figure. Also great to just allow these two to go out there and do what they do best, give them some license to go beyond what WWE usually ‘allows’ them to do. Some lovely little nods to past meetings between these guys and their individual history. “I had till 5″ anyone? Great stuff.

Back and forth. Innovative. Harder, faster, and slicker during the high points than we’ve seen in years anywhere on the roster; full of emotion; told a great story; and a clever ending to keep the feud alive and hopefully leave this open for many more meetings on PPV to come. What a fantastic advertisement for WRESTLING. The crowd reaction alone to this is proof to Vince surely that IT still matters.

Battle Royal
I might be wrong but I can’t remember the announcers talkng about the result of the Kane/Ryder match even though they made an issue of it earlier in the week. Strange. Anyway, we started to main show with a Battle Royal to determine a number one contender to face either the IC or the US champ later in the night. As soon as it was announced that Christian was involved, I guess we were all 99% sure he’d win this. Equally as soon as he pointed to Santino, I’m sure most of us realised he’d actually be facing Cody later in the evening. Quite a good battle royal for me though, and I go-home sequence too – it felt different. Nice to see some visually ‘together’ tag teams in there, and a great showing from Tyson Kidd too who can’t have done himself any harm with his performance.

Kofi/Truth v Ziggler/Swagger
Really solid match here I thought. I went for the champs to retain – makes more sense to me as Ziggler and Swagger are more valuable as singles competitors for me. My biggest concern here is I thought this was an ideal opportunity to split ZigSwag up – maybe they’ll start to work this in on Raw this eve? The Trouble in Paradise finish looked good – but then what do you expect when Ziggler is selling it. Sterling effort to keep the tag team division alive and interesting by all concerned.

Layla v Beth Pheonix
Again I called this one so was starting to get a bit excited that my accumulator might come in. It didn’t but still – Buddha bless Paddy Power for making WWE PPV’s more interesting recently. Anyway, this was ok as womens matches go to be fair, although Layla is clearly still ring rusty and they lacked the fluency you’d want in places.  But hey, when your biggest competition has Brooke Hogan in charge it’s women are we supposed to expect miracles? Still at least they were given more than a few minutes and tried to tell an actual story with the match. Beth did a great job of making Layla look good, particularly with the finish. I’d like to Beth to take a break now, let Kharma come back, win the title and decimate the division before setting up a Beth return to win the belt back in what should have been this years Mania match for the Divas division.

Sheamus v Del Rio v Orton v Jericho
I have to say I really didn’t expect Sheamus to retain – I honestly expected someone to ‘surprise’ us and in fairness the commentary team did a decent job of bigging up a Jericho angle that he was out to prove something. Jericho was my pick actually and I like to thank him for ruining my accumulator! That said, it’s also good that they’re keeping the belt (yes I said belt!) on Sheamus for a little while longer and keeping him strong (coupled with the clean win over Orton on SD) – ultimately when someone beats Sheamus for it they’ll consequently look all the more stronger for it. Anyway, although I’m not a massive fan of fatal 4ways, I do prefer them to triple threats, and as formulaic as this kinda was it was very good. I liked how the usual go-home sequence we’ve come to expect in these was used as a false finish. Clearly they are gonna to keep this Sheamus/Orton feud going, and I assume this means Jericho won’t be around for much longer either. While he’s helped to push other stars, his return has ultimately been a little anti-climatic for me. Not sure where this leaves Del Rio either. Great to hear the “Si! Si! Si!” chants going for him though which started at the post-mania Raw. I love a ‘smart’ crowd!

Brodus Clay v The Miz
I actually found Miz’s dance pretty funny – reminded me of the old Miz when he was with John Morrison. He was cool then. Total filler to break the card up. Nothing more than that.

Cody Rhodes v Christian
And all of a sudden Christian is a face again? Er, ok. I don’t mind, I like Christian either way, but this is a strange booking – although I find all former World Champs coming back to contend for lower titles kinda strange. Don’t like seeing the title change again so soon aster Cody regained it, but I guess if they continue this as a feud, it will ultimately help elevate Cody.  Cody is similar in the ring to Orton (coming from his Legacy days) so maybe the logic is that Christian can have the same degree of success with a feud with Cody as he did last year with Orton? Yeah I used the term ‘logic’ in a sentence associated with a WWE storyline – I know, I’m an idiot. Definitely some signs of that here for the future though. Nothing overly complicated on show but some decent chemistry.

Then we were treated to the Punk/Bryan masterclass, before we got another filler and then effectively the circus came to town.

Ryback v Camacho
Highlight of the match was Lillian Garcia getting Ryback’s opponent wrong – she had a 50/50 chance I guess. At least she chose the name of someone in the ring. In fairness I’m pretty sure she’s got an earpiece and is getting fed the stats etc so someone in the back in probably as much to blame. Usual squash of course. Maybe soon they’ll put Ryback in the ring with Brodus and give them both something to do?

John Cena v John Laurinaitis
Advertising this as the ‘main event’ is a total slap in the face to not just the WWE and Heavyweight Title matches, but to everyone else on the roster too of course. The last sight we should have seen is Bryan’s deflated but angry face after his loss to Punk. Much like with my loopback at Raw this week, I wish I couldn’t waste too much energy on this, other than to acknowledge just how awful this 20 minutes of TV was…but feel I will anyway…there’s just too much to comment on. Where the abundance of quality in the Punk/Bryan match let’s the action do all the talking, this balanced it all out with I guess what Vince finds ‘funny’?

I can only assume that crowd signs stating that Laurinaitus would lose were planted. Nobody thought that Cena would win this surely (apart from that hilarious ‘shocked’ Cena fan in the front row)…even though it means of course that under the same circumstances (no DQ), Cena was able to beat Brock Lesnar but not a 46 year old man with the help of a 7 foot pudding. Cena can take a pounding from Lesnar, yet not kick out almost 2 minutes after a punch from Big Show (and stay ‘unconscious’ for another 5 mins afterwards too? Please. What’s worse of course now is that anyone who taps to the STF in less than 10 seconds will/should be deemed a lesser fighter than JL. Once again, nonsensical inconstancy from WWE.

In fact, I can’t even care about the obvious Big Show angle which was so overt on the past Raw you might have well have tattooed it across Kelly Kelly’s headboard. Some storyline directions are fine if they are obvious as long as they are done well, the difference here is that noone cares about the essence of the story anyway. I could go on about the total lack of selling of the Cena’s supposed arm injury, but that would be marching on further old ground.

Suffice to say, this was worse than any Brodus Clay segment. This pointless story and accompanying ‘performances’ wouldn’t even belong on Velocity. Such a shame to end a PPV like this. I don’t do ratings but if I did, this would have brought the score down by a good 3 points. This at the end of the day is what you’re (as a company) are telling the fans you want them to go home remembering above everything else. And that’s embarrassing on WWE’s part. I only count myself lucky that in the UK we got this for free. Even a deaf, dumb and blind 5 year old in full Cena regalia would have rather seen another 20 minutes of Punk/Bryan than this utter tripe surely?

By rights Cena should now be Public Enemy number one to the entire roster – because he didn’t take the chance to out Big Johnny away when he had it. Of course they won’t dwell on this and we’ll likely get some awful revisit of the Show/Cena feud we’ve already seen approximately seventeen thousand times before.

Catch you in a couple of days with my thoughts on this tonight’s Raw. I’m gonna go and get a box of Kleenex and watch the Punk/Bryan match again.

Simm Minogue.

Look who continues to stick his nose out…
Ignoring the fact that yes Trip is once again pushing himself to the forefront of the show/proceedings yet again (end of an era my arse), I enjoyed the opening segment of the show.  Two great talkers in Trip and Heyman and both delivered here.  Trip has built up the angle with Lesnar well here for whenever we get this match (we assume Summerslam, but could be earlier). They seem to be pushing the ‘took your ball’ approach so don’t be surprised if we get Austin/Lesnar at some point too – if they are going to continue these ‘legends’ angles then that’s your historical money match for next years mania for me, not Taker (and not Austin/Punk). It’s been more years in the making and for reasons we all know is the one we missed out on. Interesting that Mania 29 is in NJ/NY and it was in NY of course that Austin/Lesnar had their last confrontation at WM20 – there’s a story to be reminded of here if WWE want to use it.

Let’s start uniting some belts
Good to see WWE testing the water with Rhodes in the same spotlight as Punk/Bryan (the champ and the most ‘over’ star) in the opening match. Santino provided a nice aside. No he shouldn’t be a champ in this guise, but they are teasing a ‘unification’ meeting with him and Rhodes it would seem. I’d go for that. With so many belts around we know it’s all got too diluted – maybe it’s time for someone to have ‘all the marbles’ and finally elevate the importance of being the ‘secondary’ champ that WWE has failed to do in recent years with so many stop/start pushes. I think Cody is the right guy to do this, as long as ensure he looks like he can hang with the big champs too – the IC/US holders are supposed to be the automatic number one contenders to the major titles, so thought should look like a threat. Usual massive response to Bryan which is great to hear. Far better crowd this week, although still not great.

Would anyone remember Punk is the champ if he turned up without the belt?
Biggest shame of the show on this note is that we’ve had no real build for the WWE title match. The AJ segment was almost an afterthought to throw in an angle. Again, the angle should simply be a continuation of THE BEST IN THE WORLD stuff. Punk’s proved it against Jericho, now it’s time to go against Bryan. Most of us know they have history (and I gather WWE.com have covered this a little) but this will be lost on the casual viewer. Big shame. Side note here, to all those retards who still claim that people shouting “No” instead of “Yes” means Daniel Bryan isn’t over. You’re an idiot.

For imaginary creator’s sake WWE, get some structure!
Real interesting that on Smackdown we got a ton of matches with ad breaks in between and next to no other nonsense…then on the ‘premiere’ show we’re back to the WRESTLING being cut by ad breaks to allow time for nonsense. Where’s the balance?

Big thank you this week goes to…
Alicia Fox. For totally wasting 2 mins of my TV time. The entire match (can you call it that?) looked clumsy. Beth Pheonix looks totally confused about how to react to Leyla. I am too. She attacks Beth from behind having played the ‘Heel on the ramp’, then is all smiley and expecting crowd cheers. I’m so tired of the Divas division. If you can wrestle, let them wrestle. If they’re can’t but they’re fit, make them a valet. If you’re both, great. If you’re neither, send them home. It’s not rocket science.

WWE has no perception on the real world
Cole let us know that John Cena is one of the most ‘liked’ celebrities on facebook, with over 11m followers. That’s nice. Ignoring of course the fact that a massive majority only ‘like’ his page so that they can send abuse to him, or more to WWE via him. The same applies his followers on twitter.  Again, revisionist history WWE style, and of course ignoring that Cena’s actual core fanbase are all too young to have a facebook or twitter account unless their parents are a dumb as Cena’s outfits look.  Add to that another another Make A Wish promo to please the sponsors etc. Heart warming yes, but bore off with this irrelevant horseshit please WWE.

The continuation of The Paul White Debacle
So, we got an announcement that Kane v Ryder would be a pre-show/dark match for Sunday. Weird that this should a) be a bigger match given their history and had they dealt with the story properly, and b) that they are promoting pre-show matches rather than matches on the card of which they seem to be lacking at the moment. Anyway, we got Show v Kane as the set-up to a showdown with Big Johnny, ending in a chokeslam being ‘sold’ as if it was a clotheslines after an awkwardly timed interruption from JL. Show clearly said sorry and JL claimed not to have heard him even though he was a foot away and Show was using a mic. Now I’m for equal opportunities but clearly this is not in the pro column for choosing deaf people as figures of authority. At least I guess we now know why JL has been part of so many crappy booking decisions – he physically cannot hear the fans.  We also got some genuinely horrible acting from Show (And after his amazing movie career too. I’m shocked). The look on Show’s face said more ‘emotional wank’ than ‘sad to be leaving’.

Brodus Clay
This is starting to be an advert for what happens when yanks try to ‘do’ irony. I assume Brodus’ character is supposed to be ironic now, because still it’s going nowhere. It’s so lost, someone actually needs to call his Momma to find him.  Contribution to fan interaction aside, I for one would currently not getting tired of kicking this guy in the throat. That said, nice change to get a 6-man tag over a standard tag. Shame about Vicki’s choice of attire yet again though. With her red dress, bloated appearance and pasty complexion, she resembled a used tampon that had been left out in the rain. My eyes! My eyes! Credit where it’s due, I liked the execution on the finish and Dolph’s staggeringly good sell of Brodus’ headbutt once again.

It’s the WWE Rewind everyone!
You know, cos they’d don’t spend enough time reminding us of stuff when they could be showing us new stuff do they? This week it was broght to you by Denny’s – The American Diner that’s always open. Nice to know Denny’s has something in common with Kelly Kelly’s legs isn’t it.

Sheamus on commentary
Nice to see the champ on commentary while contenders duke it out to stake their worth so to speak. I’m all for more of this. Sheamus says it was a pleasure to see King, but wasn’t so keen on Cole. I guess he’s sick of cole seeing that’s all he had to eat as a child. Yes, that’s an Irish joke, and given that I have an Irish connection I’m allowed to say it too. Up yours. I like Sheamus on the mic when he’s not being given crappy Irish folk stories to tell too.  I also loved the “That was my W” shout from Orton – great to know that some stars still care about wins and losses eh? We’ve certainly been trained not to for sure. General comment at this point on Sunday’s Fatal 4 Way – I like how this has been built ‘mainly’ in and around the ring. Lot’s of focus on Orton and Sheamus clearly, which leads me to think either Jericho or Del Rio will walk away with the belt, leaving Orton and Sheamus to feud over whose fault the loss was. Sheamus has really suffered from the BryanMania hangover as I said last week and never really got any traction as the champ. Jericho to win for me, with a Del Rio face turn to chase him for the belt. That would work for me. Let’s face it, with Sin Cara nowhere and Rey still taking idiot pills it seems, they need this guy for the Latino market.

Did Cena hurt his arm or his head?
I only ask a) because this is one massively fucking amazing recovery from the not medically-cleared, arm drained twice a day guy we saw last week. Total no sell as we’ve come to expect from Cena here, even going so far as to continually over animate his ‘injured’ arm; and b) because the change in vocal delivery can surely only come from someone with memory loss.  What on earth was this utter shambles of a segment? JL didn’t know how to react to cartoon Cena who jokes and voices were totally ricockulous, and the contradiction in how Cena is treated for mockery over how Big Show was is just stupid (although clearly this has set the stage for Show to interfere at OTL as he can’t be fired if he already is – i.e working with JL all along). Awful puck gag to finish too. Just awful. Without a doubt the worst segment I’ve seen in a very very long time.  Two funny things about this though. Firstly with all the new stipulations, no one is allowed at ringside – trust me no one wants to be for this match WWE, and that includes the fans. Secondly, it’s always nice to see Cena get a slap in the face. After all

Right, I’m off to teach Brodus’ Funkadactyls some more inappropriate dance moves to do in front of children.

Until next time, I’m Simm Minogue. I’ll still be him next time, but you know what I mean…

Anyway, this weeks Raw kinda trundled along for me, but weirdly I’m kinda excited about stuff again now. Hey, I’m old skool, I like the slow burn. Potentially lots of great things in the pipeline as long as it builds well. For me it’s times like this that it’s a shame we have to have so many PPV’s as somewhere a rush pay off is undoubtedly gonna be added. But let’s wait and see eh? *baits breath, crosses fingers*

Smackdown has gotten some mixed feedback it seems but again for me I really enjoyed it. Yes there were no real backstage, or out of the ring elements…but I didn’t miss it.  Consequently the edit seemed kinda strange sure, but for me it was good just to see WRESTLING, and to see stars building stories IN THE RING. That’s been too lost for me for some time.  A great mic worker is fine, but SD this week shows that it’s not essential to keep a build going. Some stories need it, some don’t. I’m more excited about the fatal 4-way now because nothing has been over talked of yet – even the commentators have been relatively quiet about what’s been happening. They’re drip feeding their thoughts and I think the show is stronger for it.  All my scenario expectation is purely though what I’ve seen in ACTION, and that’s great for me.  If Over The Limit had been last night, I’d have been happy to watch it and happy with any outcome. Quite frankly I don’t care who wins the title at OTL – all the 4 talents are performing well and seem to be developing great chemistry together.  I’m gradually seeing a strange upping of the game in the ring over the past couple of weeks that we rarely see so soon post-Mania. Simm likes this.

General thoughts…

CM Punks opening promo on Raw
A GREAT promo from Punk on Raw. Let’s not forget Laurinaitis’ input here though – by his standards this was pretty good. He’s built up a decent amount of irritable heel heat and is a worthy antagonist for the faces to the rub against now. But I digress…Punks promo here was immense. He put over Brock, Cena, and Tensai is one promo here. Anyone can remember a script sure, but when it comes with the conviction that Punk delivers, and obviously from the mouth of someone who is respected as a WRESTLER, its great for business.  The Japan link was well used here too. I liked this a lot. Nice to see WWE not hiding to quote Punk ‘revisitionist history’ here and allowing us to know, that they know, that we know where stars have been and come from. Good stuff all round. Very refreshing.

My love/hate relationship with Eve
No, she can’t act. Yes, the role she’s playing is stupid. But damn that woman gets hotter and hotter every week, and the addition of the specs only continues to ruin my pants.  Anyone else think that she looked so much better like this in the corner of a Ziggler or a Cody though?

The Paul White debacle
We’ve just come away from a mini-story about the WWE rulebook, yet every time I see Big Show, I’m reminded that his finisher is a closed fist. Love the consistency here WWE. Or do we assume that any match Big Show is in, is actually no DQ?  Staying with Show, why did he not make an effort to get Cody back in the ring on Raw? He knows the rules. I never understand this booking where challengers are ‘happy’ to allow champs to walk out, and just stand there to take the count out win. Well done doofus, you just wasted your rematch.  This angle with Show and JL is silly too – anyone else had enough of ‘you’ll be fired’ storylines? Side note here for SD – Daniel Bryan was fucking immense in this short match. His facial expressions and timing are worth triple whatever his contract is.

But he’s not all bad…
Jokes aside about kids opinions on wrestling etc, take a look at the face of the (I presume cancer patient) kid who gets Big Shows’ beanie on Raw. Awesome. If that doesn’t keep you coming back to work with a smile I dont know what will. Yes they contradict themselves with the BA Star stuff etc (Punks opening promo a prime example actually), and yes there’s more than a small element of social responsibility promotion for the shareholders here, but you gotta love WWE for this. Top stuff.

ZigSwag and Trufi Kingston at OTL
Ziggler v Kofi on Raw – nice match, good chemistry. And likewise with Truth v Swagger this week. I understand that that they are working the tag feud between them but let’s just see them in tag comp against up and coming tags instead (and have the challengers/champs) at commentary or something. Otherwsie we never get to see the TEAM looking really strong as a unit. It goes back to what I said last week about squashing jobbers – gives them experience on TV, keeps the big stars looking strong, and raises questions about what might happen when big stars finally go up against big stars.
I know why it’s done this way, but I’m always torn with it. No biggie – at the end of the day if it helps their chemistry come OTL then I guess I’m fine with it.  I’d expect to finally see a Zig Swag break up after that and feud til MITB.  Cue Mason Ryan involved with Ziggler, and Primo/Epico moving back in the tag title hunt – both under tutelage of Washington. That’s what I’d like to see anyway. Ziggler can cut it in the ring with anyone, but I’d love to see his heel persona really being built up but making him so untouchable because he’s hidden behind 2 guys.

The Miz and Chris Jericho
Are WWE so hard up nowadays that some stars are having to share costumes?

More on WWE consistency!
CM Punk this week to Big Johnny – “You’re stupid. You’re ugly. And you have no friends.” Remember kids, BA Star kids and rise above bullying!

REDUNDANT SIGN ALERT!!!
During Raw, the camera alluded to a fan during Punks entrance who held a sign stating, “CM Punk is straight edge”. Well thanks for that. On tonight’s Raw she’ll be there again folks. She’ll be bringing the following signs; “Big Show is tall”, “Tensai is bald”, and my personal favourite, ” Sheamus is ginger”.

Sheamus - The World Heavyweight…Champion?
Speaking on the ginger one, what’s happening here? Does anyone care that he’s the champ? I don’t have a problem with Sheamus – I think he’s a great worker, and had been in some great matches – he’s just kinda in limbo at the moment for me, and that’s not where a champion should be.  The Daniel Bryan hangover is still evident here – WWE thought he’d be a massive face but unfortunately adults like the YES man, and kids are probably frightened of what might happen if Ronald McDonald and Annie had a lovechild.  There’s nothing to hate about him particularly, but there’s nothing to like either at the moment. It’s all a bit stale. Takes a good RKO though to his credit. I’d like to see him go uber heel at OTL one way or another – opportunity is there in a fatal 4 way as it’s no DQ. Looking forward to this one as I said earlier – could go either way of the 4 and still ‘make sense’.

Even more continuity issues!
In a week where Triple H has been apparently selling his arm everywhere he goes, Cena faced Kane and defeated him in a dark match after Raw having appeared ‘via satellite’ earlier in a sling, claiming he was not medically cleared, and was having his armed ‘drained’ every day. Never has there been a better use of, “Really?” Every child in that area now thinks Cena is a lying sack of shite. Hang on, did I say this was a bad thing earlier? More of this please!
On the subject of Cena, I’m currently offering odds of 7/2 on WWE using his divorce in a storyline soon. In hindsight, I bet he wish he’d have fucked Eve and not just snogged her now. Maybe he did. I guess we’ll never know. Although this is proper funny after Rock’s pre-Mania comments now – now that IS great continuity! Maybe Rock will return next with a Magic 8 ball? Ironically Eve is often heard in the same sentence as the phrase ‘Wizard’s sleeve’ too. She shares the cloak with Kelly Kelly.

Punk v Tensai on Raw
Main event seemed a little slow to me. Ruining of the baldo-bomb didn’t help sureAppreciate that a Punk/Tensai feud is imminent. While I know Tensai needs to look strong, this is still a bit too ‘clean’ for me. Punk made a point of putting over Matt Bloom in his promo so I hope when they do face off properly, he’s allowed to show the depth we know he’s developed in Japan. It’s looking all the more likely here that Punk may not get a decent feud with Bryan…yet at least. Do I smell Bryan winning title at OTL, after interference from Tensai? Punk/Tensai feud restults from this and then we get Punk/Bryan later? Works for me. I’m happy to wait so that we get a bigger Punk/Bryan match further down the line. That said, while I think Jericho is involved in the Heavyweight title match to mainly ensure it all moulds well, I won’t be surprised if he wins the belt…he could STILL come back to wave that belt in PUNKS face remember or vice versa – I don’t think its the last of the Jericho BEST IN THE WORLD mantra just yet.

PAUL FUCKING HEYMAN!!!!!!
Did you think I’d forget this? You know I’m a Paul Heyman guy after all. And oh how I do love this guy. Such power on the mic; delivery of belief and conviction. A different crowd would have given him sooooo much a better pop – the one he deserves – but thats by the by. He still did the job. He commanded attention and respect from the crowd – allowing younger fans to go with the boos, and the ‘WHAT’s, while the older generation sat captivated as if it was the opening night of ECW. Despite the announcement, this wont be the last we see of Heyman and Lesnar of course…and I cant wait to see how this builds. Very exciting.  On this note I finally got round to reading Death Clutch this week. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who needs reminding that Lesnar is all about business nowadays. What we see on screen is what he’s paid to be guys. Nothing more, nothing less.

Looking forward to Raw tonight…

Simm Minogue

The Daniel Bryan Experiment AKA Project YES!
I don’t think I’ve ever swore so much at a wrestling incident than I did in the 10 minutes after the ’18 second debacle’. Whatever the Mania and post-Mania Raw crowd did to speak up (and I was a VERY vocal part of both crowds!), it still doesn’t detract from the fact that this booking was UTTER BULLSHIT. They’ve used a ‘kiss of death’ storyline using AJ that a month later is nowhere to being significant and is now largely forgotten too. It’s never been about Bryan losing. It’s about what we didn’t get showcased at the ‘Showcase’. What we got at Extreme Rules beaten Sheamus and Bryan was what we should have got at Mania and that still is a slap in the face to everyone who travelled to see BOTH of these guys get their recognition. The saving grace? After this weeks Raw, we get Punk v Bryan at a PPV – let’s hope they get the time they deserve, although 3 weeks in barely enough time to build some ‘reason’ behind a truly great payoff match. Wrestling wise, of course they’ll storm it as always, but for that reason I hope this is just the start of a really strong new ‘Best In The World’ feud. We got a few teasers of this before Mania and it was a joy to watch – here’s to more of the same.

Orton and Kane
One of the funniest things about this whole thing for me is that it’s played a massive part in the disappearance of Zack Ryder. I said Zack Ryder. What do you mean who? You know, the guy who who built himself up on the internet in his own show, made a fake belt, got the fans behind him, got a push with the help of Ziggler to ‘make’ him, won a title and then…got squashed by Kane soon after, didn’t quite have the balls to get retribution, and also got screwed by a hoeski too. He is the epitome of the “if you don’t get over as WWE wanted it to happen, we’ll take it from here…” curse. See Daniel Bryan.
Anyhoo, I digress. Orton and Kane has been a weird one – two great talents in their own rights but proof that sometimes a pairing just doesn’t work. They’ve had average meetings at best bar this weeks PPV. This pains me cause I’m a massive Orton fan and the pops he still receives despite not being overly pushed for over 6 months shows he STILL has the ‘it factor’. Such a shame that somehow in all his years of ringwork, Glen Jacobs can’t sell for shit (RKO a prime example) though – both baffling and inexcusable to be honest. And we moan about Kelly Kelly…

Punk and Jericho
Their match at Extreme Rules this week was a fine effort. Innovative and smart with a good pace, I’m not sure what was going on with the outfits though – I know this was a streetlight, but where was this street? Mykonos? Both looked like extras from a village people video, which would only have been made more evident if Jericho had stuck with the leather trousers. If there are gay bars in Texas, these two showed how you would dress for them. CM Punk must have tempted to change his name to SA (Saggy Arsed) Punk for the night – seriously dude, pull them up, you’re not black!  On watching their Mania match back it was a decent showing too, I just feel we missed out on a lot in this one altogether. Potentially a great long term WRESTLING rivalry, marred by WWE changing it’s mind over what it was doing with Jericho no doubt for so long, ended up being tainted by angles and promos that were unnecessary. Credit where it’s due, Jericho has still put Punk over and helped to elevate his title reign further, but not sure where Jericho goes from here. It’s a strange one.

Dolph Ziggler
Such a sore point for me this one. A guy who potentially could have been headlining Mania this year (was perfect to win the Rumble in my view and should have been pushed as soon as he dropped the US belt to Ryder) but reduced to a bit part player in a multi-man tag, and now jobbing to anyone WWE want to look good. Brodus Clay? Come the fuck on. This is guy who should either be back holding the US or IC belt to elevate it’s status, or challenging the World/WWE champ in entertaining matches. The Hennig comparisons have been around for a long time, but it’s now becoming clear that it’s TOO true – the best worker never to be the top guy? Perhaps (and lets be honest no-one counts the brief HW title win). I just wish that WWE’s view was “this guy looks great, the fans love him, and he works his arse off every night making himself look great but his opponent a million bucks too…let’s reward him” rather than, “this guy looks great, the fans love him, and he works his arse off every night…let’s feed him horsehit we’ve created to make them look good”.  In 6 months time I fear we’ll be talking the same about Cody Rhodes who took some sterling bumps at Extreme Rules and is also ready for the ‘step up’.  Both guys now wear long, sleeveless jackets to the ring – I have no idea if this has any bearing?!

John Cena
Pre-Mania we got glimpses of the good – the attitude-style, gimmick Cena that we didn’t mind being pushed as ling as it was no higher than the US title. Let’s get to the brass tacks here – 7 years of strong pushing and the guy is still the most unbelievable seller in the business, offering no conviction that he could actually have the tools to beat anyone. I’ll never take away his love for the business which is clear, but I’m sorry I’m a purist – the star of the show should be the guy who has honed his craft to become the BEST – not pushed because kids like bright colours and are stupid. Which leads me to this…

Brock Lesnar
Crazy, crazy few weeks for this guy. To say the post-Mania Raw crowd went apeshit for Brock is the biggest understatement ever. His return was great and he gave us all what we wanted. No-one seems to have commented on what was one of the best thing about his return that night. It was the way he kicked away Cena’s cap after the F5. So poignant and embodied the whole ethos of bringing legitimacy back better than any promo could have done.
Sunday’s PPV was crazy – he made Cena look a million bucks because he went in stiff (ahem) and forced Cena to act in reality not the cartoon bullshit we’ve come to expect. Then Cena cut the ‘off the cuff’ promo and ruined it all. If rumours about Brock’s ‘strop’ backstage are true, I don’t blame him. Cena SHOULD have left on a stretcher and disappeared for a while. I fear WWE have bottled it once again, and are missing the bigger picture.  The main trouble with Brock though? UFC has legitimised him as a real fighter and we all KNOW he could hand ANYONE in WWE their arse at will. When Ken Shamrock came to WWE, the majority of the public weren’t au fait enough to recognise this, but now UFC is so big we are. I fear this is why Brock will ultimately be ill-used…if he’s not dominant (at least initially) we won’t buy it. Vince seems resolute in protecting HIS products as always. Massive shame. The premise of The Rock coming back was addressing/acknowledging that the fans are tired of Super Cena, as was the premise of Brock’s return. Who’s still the only visible (ham)face? You’ve guessed it. Another slap in the face to the fans.

Lillian Garcia
Sung beautifully at Mania…but continues to get far too much wrong on a weekly basis, and combines it with a penchant for falling over without good reason. I’d say get rid of her, but she’s turning into a very good drinking game!

Triple H. The Ego’s still landing.
This doesn’t need a lot to spell it out really. Taker gets helped out of Mania 27 = we don’t see him for nearly a year after. Trip gets helped out of Mania 28…and he turns up a month later.  Mania was supposed to be the ‘End of an Era’ – if so, what the fuck are you doing back on my TV screen? Take your ego back to the office and start listening to the real fans. People power? I don’t think so.

The Return of the Local Jobber!
I’m all for this! It’s what we grew up on. Also jokes aside, this is how you make new stars on TV – it’s introduces their moves and gimmicks, and makes them look strong without damaging any of the current mid-upper card talent. Sure, we shouldn’t be seeing ‘local athletes’ on PPV’s against Goldb…sorry Ryback, but on weekly TV I honestly don’t have a problem with this. Take away all the crap from Raw and SD every week, and you’ve got about 30 mins minimum of TV time to build these new stars. It’s not rocket science.

WWE needs to stop changing it’s mind!
What’s good for business seems to be a recurring theme doesn’t it.  They’ll always claimed that things are what was planned won’t they but we know it’s not true. Why? Because stuff just doesn’t make sense. That’s NOT good for business in my book. If things were planned out properly, we’d get continuity and  a sense of history in the storylines. They say winning and losing doesn’t matter in wrestling. I say it should. Vince wants to claim they ‘make movies’ every week, month etc – really? Let me say this – when a movie doesn’t mask sense, people don’t watch it again. Johnny Ace told Punk weeks ago that Tensai would be coming for him (natural disaster). Is this going to happen? Seems not at the moment. Or is he just going to be the lackey in his new feud with Cena? Does anyone care anymore already? If he was going to be a henchman, why not start him as one and then have him go in a singles feud afterwards – sometimes the tried and tested formula DOES work. Although on this note, there is an opportunity for Tensai to get involved in the Punk/Bryan match still to thread this in…and yes of course, this does mean, once again, tainting what could be a great pure WRESTLING feud.
Also, going back to Cena and Brock, what’s not good for business is building up a ‘wrecking machine’ to have him loose in his first match, and then screw him (whether planned or not, it doesn’t matter) on the mic ON AIR afterwards. Have some balls and conviction WWE!

Titles mean nothing! Ahhhhhhh!
What’s been happening in the championship picture lately? Rock states he wants to be the champ – how is he gonna do that if he’s not around? Big titles are now what the IC belt used to be – it’s where the workers get recognised. The lower belts are for the gimmick acts who sell merch to kids, and thus replica belts. It’s why Cody and Ziggler need a push out of this market before it’s all too late.
Layla comes back and wins Divas title in first match back – don’t you have to earn a shot? Although we’re reminded of Kharma, let’s forget her – clearly her head isn’t there…and more to the point there’s other talent on the roster that could be given better time.
One Bella twin gets the belt just so they both had held it before they left the WWE, Big Show gets the IC belt just so he has the full set before he retires. What happened to getting a belt because you were a talent and could carry a company?
US champ lost in in a 4 minute match this week. Tag titles have been so stop/start it’s untrue. All of these are generally only defended in dark matches or on TV. If WWE doesn’t act like it cares about it’s champs, why should we?

Bit of fun to end with some quotes and observations from this week:

Jerry Lawler,  “Something broken other than that table”  If Ziggler’s on the prowl, I’m guessing its a hymen.

Booker T called Daniel Bryan a “professor”. Well that’s great isn’t it? We have a ‘Professor’, ‘a Doctor’ of Thuganomics,  and a guy in Kane who used to be a ‘Dentist’ too. It’s nice to know that some of these guys have a trade to fall back on at least.

During this weeks PPV, I think Cole claimed “Sheamus is sucking wind”. Well thats what happens when you only book 4 minute matches every week and fill the rest of the show with crap. Stars look spent when they are asked to go for for 20 mins plus. Just saying.

Booker continues to make me die with his comments, in fact I might make it a weekly feature. In trying to sell Sheamus’ injury against Daniel Bryan – “That arm is black and blue”. It’s not Booker, it’s still whiter than a sheet in a Persil advert. Sheamus is continuously so white he’s actually the prime suspect into the investigation for Michael Jackson faking his own death.  The only thing that’s black and blue are Booker’s home videos.

In closing here’s a little flashback. Watching the promo this week for the new Edge DVD, it started with the line, “Everyone has a dream…”  For some reason reminded me of this great promo from Piper before the 1992 rumble match with The Mountie. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading.

Simm Minogue.

The first thing I’d like to note isn’t really about the PPV, or TNA at all. No, it’s that WWE is bringing back No Way Out this year with at least some of the matches being steel cage. Seems a little close to the Lockdown concept – but I can’t recall if that’s even original. But I digress…

I used to really like Lockdown when it was the “Six Sides of Steel”. It was a bit different. Now I find it a bit tedious of have every match in a cage.

I found the matches to be pretty good – even the Bischoff vs Bischoff match. The real let down was the crowd. It seemed dead. Really dead. I read they only got 2000 people through the door of a 9000 venue, which has got to be a concern. There wasn’t really any increase in noise during the James Storm title match. It really killed it for me.

Since then, RVD has become number one contender for the TNA belt, and Hogan announced “Open Fight Night” where if you’re called out, you have to fight. Not sure what I think of that one yet – the first one’s tonight, so we’ll see. The TV Championship will now be defend every week on TV. I like that, just as long as it doesn’t get swapped around too much and make it a bit too Mickey Mouse like the WWE did with the Hardcore belt before ditching it.

Since the last time I wrote anything, everyone’s favourite podcaster Colt Cabana became a two time NWA World Heavyweight Champion, which is kinda cool seeing as we were in a pub with him just before Mania.

I’m also eagerly awaiting the DVD of Progress Wrestlings first outing in London. Should keep my satisfied until the second instalment in June. But will they book Havoc? (If that’s lost on you, look up the Twitter hashtag #BookHavoc)

Now, WWE. Hmmm.

I’m not sure what happened there. Was the post Mania Raw so good that it couldn’t be topped? Did they just ignore the trend and stick to pre-existing storylines? I’m not sure. I really don’t like the D-Bry stuff at the moment. Considering the reaction post Wrestlemania, I personally would have turned him. And Sheamus likewise. The feud could continue, but polarized.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Bryan as a heel, he’s a good’un – I just wonder if the merch would have sold better.

The Rock’s predictable disappearance is as predictable as it is annoying. You’ll not be winning the WWE Championship by not competing, Rocky!

The less said about Lord Tensai the better. I don’t even know if I spelt that right. Can we just call him Albert?

The Lesnar/Cena angle isn’t really working for me either. There’s something not quite right about it. If it’s meant to push Cena (more than usual) it’s not working. Putting him against someone I’m meant to dislike just gives me a match with two people I dislike. Not that I dislike Brock as such.

What I’d love to see on Sunday is a full on shoot match. Let them kick the crap out of each other. Just for poops and giggles.

Also, did anyone else notice that all the clips of Brock destroying opponents featured on Raw this week were all current TNA stars? Hardy, Angle, RVD and Hogan all in there. Coincidence?

Well, there’s a nice bit of filler to pass the time – I’m hoping for a good PPV on Sunday, and the card does look strong in my opinion, so let’s see what happens. I’ll sign off with the card:

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules Match)

World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (2-out-of-3 Falls Match)

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (Chicago Street Fight)

Randy Orton vs. Kane (Falls Count Anywhere Match)

Intercontinental Champion Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

United States Champion Santino Marella vs. The Miz

Divas Champion Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix

So, it was Mania Eve and there was a good buzz about the Amercian Airlines Arena on the Saturday night. The Daniel Bryan “YES!” chants we’d heard throughout the week (at Axxess etc) were getting stronger and stronger, and the reaction to Bryan himself entering the arena was immense. Could it be that my premonition of “YES!” becoming the new “WHAT?” were slowly coming to fruition? I think I’ve remembered the order correctly as it went down on the night, forgive me if not. Whether or not this is the order that makes the DVD or what was televised may differ anyway (I’ve not yet watched the televised version).

We got the usual array of video packages focussing on both to remind us of the main events of the following night (as if we needed it), and the usual stat heavy compendium to show us the variety of demographics that the WWE hits, and of course the work it does for the likes of Make A Wish, BA Star etc. Again, we didn’t need reminding and the smart crowd were more than aware that these things are only 50% about giving back and doing a good deed…the other 50% being a PR move to make people feel ‘warm and cuddly’ towards WWE and keep shareholders and sponsors happy. Still, the videos themselves were well put together in the way we’ve come to expect of course.

Ron Simmons
We started with JBL inducting Ron Simmons. Great video package reminding of of how entertaining the APA were during the Attitude Era, and of course the fantastic moment when Simmons beat Vader for the WCW Title enhanced beautifully by Jim Ross’ commentary. Anyone who has followed JBL for years and keeps up to date with him on twitter will know he’s both a great talker and truly knows his sport and stats. He proved both here, reeling off a lengthy speech about Simmons’ accolades without hesitation or autoqueue, and with a really touching heartfelt delivery. Simmons’ acceptance was equally befitting, showing the class, dignity and humour we’ve all enjoyed from him over the years. A fine start to the evening.

Mil Mascaras
Next up was the return of Alberto Del Rio to induct his uncle Mil Mascaras. A much shorter speech but a great reminder of the charisma that Del Rio holds and has helped elevate him so quickly. Mascaras (in mask but not necessarily in character) delivered a humble speech of thanks, alongside some lovely humour (even in his broken English) about his wives. Funny stuff. A poignant reminder too of just how important Mascaras is for opening the door to Mexican talent such as Rey Mysterio over the years.

The Four Horsemen
When you talk about legends setting standards in the industry, you don’t have to talk long before The Four Horsemen are mentioned. This induction by Hall of Famer Dusty Rhodes (who else?), saw JJ Dillon, Arn Anderson, and Tully Blanchard alongside Ric Flair being inducted for the second time.There have been many incarnations of The Horsemen and this was also to include Barry Windham (who joined some 2 years after the original stable came together, and after Lex Luger also), omitting Ole Anderson largely due to I expect to his verbal diarrhoea towards other members and known personal issues with the likes of Vince McMahon and Michael Hayes in recent years. Windham has great lineage already in the HOF having seen his father Blackjack Mulligan inducted in 2006 which was alluded to in his speech.

All members received great ovations and their speeches were full of love and respect for their peers and the fans. Although we’ve all watched the videos and been reminded several times over the past few years of their accomplishments in several DVD packages, it’s still great to hear the genuine passion that comes from a group of guys who truly cared about their on-screen personas so much that they lived the life they portrayed and strived to go out every night to be only one thing  – the very best. The epitome of excellence. In fact I dare say these guys, years before anyone on our screens claimed to be awesome or the toughest SOB, were the first to ‘piss excellence’.

If you’ve never taken the time to watch any matches featuring The Horsemen during their heyday, or to see any of the promos, do it. Buy the DVD’s, youtube some stuff and learn about just what it takes to be a truly great performer. These guys BELIEVED in their characters and because of that we did too. While too many stars are handed a shit gimmick nowadays, too many also don’t take the opportunity they are given to get inside that character and live it on-screen. Conviction is everything. Just look at Dolph Ziggler.

A special mention to Arn Anderson who received a huge ovation. Truly one of the best performers and technicians ever to grace the squared circle, unglamorous and often an unsung hero who now continues to entertain us all through his work as a producer along the likes of Ricky Steamboat to hone the skills of the next generation of stars. Arn gave the biggest accolade to Randy Orton in stating he could as good as he wanted to be, maybe the best ever, to which Orton seemed genuinely humbled. I have to agree. Orton is still one of my top guys as he has been for years. He’s a phenomenal athlete who like Punk and Bryan doesn’t always get the chance to display his full talent. If he can find that little something that takes his persona to the next level I think he has all the tools then to truly realise Anderson’s foresight.  Arn continued to give props to a host of ‘leaders’ in the current WWE locker room, noting the evolution of CM Punk as a highlight over the past 3 years.

Ric Flair as always showed the most emotion. Genuinely in tears at the ovation he received, including “Woooo”s-a-plenty as standard of course. Remember that he told us all that he was done, only to turn up on the rival promotion not long after. Flair seemed humbled that the fans still welcomed him with open arms. While I doubt it will make the DVD, he openly acknowledged to some heckling fans that he made a mistake and wished he was still with the WWE – I don’t think it will be long before he is. We know he can’t be without wrestling and that’s fine. What we don’t want to see is a wrinkly, crippled old man in the ring for shits and giggles every other month still. Just imagine the impact he could make backstage developing talent alongside Anderson, Steamboat et al.

Yokozuna
The Usos inducted their ‘Uncle Rodney’. Amazing to hear that over the past 20 years there has always been at least one member of this family on the WWE roster at any one time. What a lineage that is.  I like the Usos – I think they are equipped in the ring, just what the tag-team division needs, and on this showing are also potentially great talkers too. These guys need the straps soon for me. We got funny tales of when Yoko first showed up on screen as from ‘Japan’ much to the disbelief and amusement of Jimmy and Jay.

I really like Yoko during his initial run. He was a different kind of monster at the time, and so agile for a big guy. I remember him decimating jobbers over a decent period of time (similar to how Goldberg was used) to really build him up. I also liked the fact that they didn’t feed him to Taker straight away either in the way that many other ‘monsters’ were at the time. Just a shame for me that Hogan got himself involved in the title picture at the same time. WWE were just starting to break through some of the ‘smaller’ guys, with Bret being the champ and Shawn on the way up. Yoko offered an easy David and Goliath story for a host of talent that was never really exploited to the full. Also a shame that ‘the look’ was still such a massive deal back then, and if rumours are true Yoko’s quite frankly ridiculous weight near the end of his career were a product of being pushed to gain size rather than from any kind of greed, and didn’t contribute positively to his health as a result. Of course, none of this was mentioned in the speeches. Still, growing up he is one of the most memorable talents during my formative wrestling years and a worthy inclusion for me. Great to see Rikishi on hand for the induction too, who was on the card at WM9 (as one of The Headshrinkers) when Yoko first one the WWF title from Bret Hart.

Mike Tyson
The most ‘entertaining’ speech of the night came from Iron Mike, inducted by Triple H and Shawn Michaels who to be honest didn’t really talk that much about Tyson himself in their introduction…more talking it as an opportunity to indulge in some PG-DX banter. That’s fine of course, this induction is purely PR as are the majority of these inclusions in the ‘celebrity wing’.  They spoke about how they’d rush back from arenas to watch Tyson fights but that they were over so quickly Shawn would miss the match – funny in how it was delivered, but strange that in Tyson’s heyday (when he seemingly fought someone new every week and won within 2 rounds every time), Trip and Shawn wouldn’t have been in the same locker room, company or largely have even known each other to make such a story true. But we’re not supposed to realise that of course! Funny Tyson impression from Trip though it has to be said. Highlights included Tysons ring flying off his now scrawny finger (he has lost A LOT of bulk it seems), a generally incoherent rant, and him calling Cena “black”.

Edge
Then it was time for the big one of the evening. There has only ever been one person that would induct this legend, and Christian delivered with aplomb. Full of emotion that I daresay would pull at the heartstrings of even the most cold-hearted individual, and supported by a fantastic video package featuring music from The Foo Fighters which as Edge himself admitted and thanked Dave Grohl for, very rarely is given permission for (unless like me you teach Les Mills!).

He took the time to thank so many going right back to his very first breaks and training in the business, to the present day and even breaking kayfabe to thank “Mark and Glen”.  This is the class of the man – a true fan who stood in the crowd at WM6 to watch his heroes and decided that was what he was going to do with his life, and wasn’t going to let anything stop him. As a result he became one of the very best ever in my eyes. A fine technician, a risk-taker, and a great storyteller. We were treated to some great banter towards his fellow, a couple of road stories, and a pretty pre-planned faux security video too. I won’t dwell on this too much as it won’t do it all justice. Watch the full ceremony if you haven’t – it’s good stuff.

But the greatest thing about the man for me is that he DID stop when the time was right. He’s not going to become a casualty like so many others. And why should he. He has nothing else to prove. As the t-shirt says, he’s won it all and hell he finished on top too.  His words should stand as inspiration to all the current WWE roster and anyone currently in the indies wanting to break through. “Decide what to be, and go be it.” In fact, I think we can all take something from that. Adam Copeland we salute you. Thank you Edge! And by the way, nice socks.

I had no idea what to expect of the Hall of Fame but it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable experiences of my time in Miami. A real opportunity to see stars as people with their barriers down a little more than usual. Great stories, great emotion and great appreciation from the fans which was fantastic to both see and hear. More and more there’s a lot of talk about the legitimacy of the inductees and whether or not the HOF actually means anything. Sure we all know that politics and personal issues get in the way of acknowledging those that truly deserve the accolade, but on this showing I welcome this ceremony into my life for sure every year. A fine evening.

Simm Minogue.